baby, I'm bad news [entries|friends|calendar] Jeni [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[31 Aug 2007|10:53am] [ mood | apathetic ] Took the kittens to the vet today! I hadn't seen Cat in like three weeks & I've missed him so much! Going to the vet also meant I had to give Cat a real name. so officially, he is Raja, after the tiger in Aladdin. but you know...I'll probably still call him Cat. so anyway. there are two options for me: 1: Keep trying to move back into my parents house. This (surprisingly) will be the "easy" way to college. or 2: Accept that I made the decision two years ago to move out & become an adult and find a new apartment. Work full time & take as many classes as possible. After crying off & on for a few days and various arguments with my parents, I was able to realize that I was causing myself unnecessary stress by letting myself think that my mom could ever look at me as something other than a big disappointment. I've always been an idealist, hanging on to the hope that she would one day be willing to see me as something more than a child & actually understand that everything I'm doing now is for a purpose. I WILL be a successful makeup artist. Maybe not celebrity or runway, but I'm going to make a decent living off of what I have. I need a job that provides a creative outlet, and I'm working hard towards that position at MAC. I WANT to go to school, and I will. If I have to sacrifice my trip to New York to find an apartment & pay what I owe for withdrawing from my classes, I'll do it. That's life. Making sacrifices to take care of bills. However, I'm still shooting for option #1. Lunch with mom in just a few minutes. !!!

lies lies lies [08 Aug 2007|11:14pm] [ mood | sad ] I don't know what to do or even where to start. It takes both people to fix what they broke together, and you can't see that your hands have been soiled as well. It's easier to ignore things, I think? sure, for you it is. took you for granted? no. although I never TOLD you how much you meant to me, you were the one to walk away, weren't you? there's plenty that I could do, however it is all far more than I am willing to do. I'm not fighting for someone who thinks I give nothing to my friends. I said I didn't want another best friend again. see. fucking disappointment. thank god you never got in. !!!

[30 May 2004|03:06pm] FRIENDS ONLY ♥ comment to be added ♥ 194 !!!

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